How soon can you fart in a relationship?

DOUBLE STANDARD TIME!

When should you stop holding your farts in? When do you stop acting like your bowels don’t exist (or function)?

For men, it isn’t seen as such a horrible thing if you let one rip. Yeah, you might stink for a little but it isn’t seen as something that tarnishes a male’s reputation. Some men can clear rooms with their farts but somehow farting in front of a woman isn’t as bad as when a women first farts in front of a man.

I’ve had male friends are completely repulsed by the reality of women having the same bodily functions as them. Being insanely aggravated that your girl farted during dinner is one thing, but can she ever comfortably fart around you? I think that it is important to be able to fart in front of your significant other because what if you’re doing yoga together and you get a little too relaxed? What if she unknowingly ate something with dairy and it causes all sorts of gastronomic distress due to her lactose intolerance? What if she just doesn’t feel like squeezing her ass together until she leaves your house the next morning?

Some men accept that us womenfolk fart BUT expect women to produce little, cutesy farts that squeak out and don’t interfere with anyone’s ability to breathe. Does ANYONE want to smell horrendous farts? No!  But damn, that’s a lot of pressure. Don’t you know that we can blow down houses, knock over statues, kill elephants AND people with our farts? Trust me, we don’t want to hold these suckers in longer than we have to.

One of my favorite comedy specials of all time is You So Crazy. I’ll never forget Martin Lawrence saying how he felt like a woman didn’t love him unless she farted in front of him. why can’t they all be like you, Marty Mar?