Keep Your Friends Close. Period.

I’ve never understood the warped logic of that saying

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer

Why would I want to do that? Why would I want to surround myself with people I have to look over my shoulder at?

I understand the idea of keeping abreast of someone’s actions and movements, but keeping them close sounds like you’ll be nice to them when you don’t want to.. Have to have them in your presence when you shouldn’t…

I’d would rather keep those that I trust and appreciate around me. There is no value in being fake and acting like I want someone around me when I don’t.

I’ve tried the ol’ “kill ’em with kindness” and it feels like bullshit. I won’t be rude or mean until I have to but feeling like I have to be exceptionally nice to someone when they don’t deserve it is way out of my area. I’m just disabled in that way, I guess. I’m entirely too rational and well-rounded to put myself in the position to stress myself out over watching some asshole when I don’t want to.

Remember Charlotte from Sex in the City?

I feel like every female I’ve ever been friends with has been like Charlotte, as least when it comes to discussing sex.

Charlotte had this way of making sex seem unsanitary and completely unnecessary, unless you had a goal to reproduce for the most part.

The reason I even have this blog is because I have no women to discuss my crazy sex-based thoughts with. On this blog men and women are invited, I’m not picky at all.

But please, if you’re a Charlotte at all, go thaaat way—>

To The Girl With Many Male Friends

It’s ok to hang out with whomever you choose. This dumbass idea that girls must hang out with other girls is so, completely dated. Perhaps you gel more with the guys. Perhaps you’re not down with the cattiness that some women give off. Perhaps you’ve dreamed of having close friends, a la Sex in the City or Girlfriends. Perhaps that day will come where you find a group of women who embrace you and treat you kindly. Until that day arrives, know that anyone can befriend anyone. I hope that you become more thick-skinned because if you haven’t experienced what comes with the territory of being “that girl”, here is some of what might occur:

Women will judge you. Some will think that you’ve slept with all of your male friends and possibly, they will call you a slut. Some women might say “oh, she thinks she’s better than us”. To hell with those women.

You can be platonic or you can sleep with all of your male friends if you dare so choose, because ya know what? It’s your vagina and your rights, as the owner of your body, is to do what makes you happy. And as far as thinking that you’re better than the other women? That’s a personal decision but you should always put yourself above accepting a friendship with ANYONE if it means that the disrespect and disloyalty will not be in your life. You shouldn’t stay friends with anyone who makes snide comments about your choice of gender when it comes to making friends.

Men might look at you sideways, too. Some men will think that you are easy because some men assume that you’ve slept with your male friends, too. Again, if a snide comment slips out, maybe they aren’t the person you should be around.

Just remember: You want the people in your life to be honest with you. The people in your life should be honest enough to ask questions without making you feel like a streetwalker though. Curiosity is natural, disrespect on the other hand, should never feel natural. Listen to your gut.