When Your Toys Please You Better Than Your Spouse

What a shitty situation.

It sucks when you put a vibrator on your clit and it works way better and way harder than your significant other does. I think that it sucks to be with your sexual partner and once you finish getting in on you realize that you’ll have to creep off and really go have an orgasm.

Yes, I’ve lied about orgasming. I wish I didn’t but I did. Lying was easier than breaking someone’s ego. Ego breaking is one of those things that I can hear, it’s like being in a forest and muting out the birds, the wind, and any animals around. Imagine being able to hear the bark of mature trees splintering, imagine being able to hear exactly when branches snap. I dislike that sound very much. I avoid it at all costs.

I hate having sex and then going at it alone and making own pussy happy. It is disappointing especially when in the throes of hot, sticky, fucking passion you make up your mind that you don’t want to tell your partner that they just aren’t doing it for it. It might not be a recurring thing, but even a couple times can be incredibly shittastic.

I can only speak of my own clit issues. Lol. I can’t speak for Possessors of Cocks. Have you ever been left not satisfied completely and had to go finish yourself off?

Has this ever happened to you?

Doing a Nude Scene

I went to a performing arts high school and my major was drama. I loved every aspect of acting. I loved being on stage, I loved having people laugh at me during a comedic scene. We studied a lot of technique and methods but one thing that wasn’t covered was sex scenes. It makes sense because it was high school after all but I wanted to learn.

I’ve always wanted to do a nude scene on film but what I ALWAYS wanted to do was a sex scene. I think that I would be awfully good at appearing to be believable. I love seeing sex scenes that appear to be believable.

Growing up, my family knew that I was interested in going far with an acting career. One thing they always spoke against was doing nude scenes. At that age I couldn’t be honest with them about that because I didn’t want the judgement that comes with that, so I would go “yeah, getting naked on tv is so vulgar and unnecessary.” when in fact, I felt quite the opposite. Placed carefully and filmed correctly, a sex scene or a nude scene can add levels to a film or stage play.

Although I don’t act anymore, I still dream about doing a scene naked.

Wet Dreams- Anne Hathaway Edition

I didn’t pay much attention to Anne Hathaway until I saw her in The Dark Knight Rises.

It’s not that I didn’t see that she was a cute girl. It’s not that I didn’t notice those big ol’ juicy lips. It’s probably because she wasn’t wearing leather.

I never was much of a leather lover. I leave it for Sisqo and other people like him who wear it well. When I saw Anne Hathaway in her Catsuit… I lost it a little bit. She had these bright lips and her outfit was so snug.. And not snug like “Go and get a size up” but snug like “I wish I were your pants because I wanna be close to that ass”.

Anne Hathaway always looked rather unassuming and cute and that leather made her look like a complete bad girl. I doubt that I could ever see her as the good girl next door type after The Dark Knight. It’s too late for that. I’ve had too many dirty thoughts.

I’ve dreamt of her being a dominatrix and her ordering me around to do silly things, like bark like a dog or make elephant noises. I would happily do it because it would make her happy. I’ve imagined myself making a sound she doesn’t like and her taking her whip and having me make the get on all fours to practice.

Mistress Anne: Bark like a dog.

Me: Woof woof woof

WHAP!! That whip hurts more than I thought it would…

Mistress Anne: Bark like a big dog! You sound like a chuhuahua, and I don’t like chihuahuas!

Me: WOOOF WOOOOF WOOOOOF

WHAP!!! Holy shit…. My asscheeks are going to be red…

Mistress Anne: I don’t like rottweilers. Don’t bark like a rottweiler. Bark like a yellow lab.

Me: arrrff arrf arrf?

WHAP!!  WHAP!!

WHAP!!

Mistress Anne: Move your hand! You will take the punishment for not doing as asked!!

I can totally see her just humiliating me in that manner, playing mind games and making me feel stupid… and at the end of it all, it will be totally worth it. Perhaps she’ll reward me by letting me taste her smooth, sweet pussy… Perhaps she’ll make me sit at the edge of the bed while she plays with herself and I will be given the pleasure of her allowing me to use my face as something she wants to squirt on… If I’m lucky she’ll let me lick her ass while she’s on all fours, fucking her pussy with a dildo…

Oh, Mistress Anne…

Hell Yeah, I Want a Customized Sex Toy

I hope that sex toys advance greatly in the very near future. Although I’m sure I would enjoy a sex toy when I’m 70 years old, I want to enjoy it right now!

I want toys that’ll give me a full body experience.

Although I don’t want a robot or anything cold and mechanical, I somehow want developers to come up with some device that will have unique settings. So imagine a sort of human-like toy that walks, talks, and fucks like a person. Here are a few suggestions for the settings I want:

1. The Goodfella- When you want some Italian dick! Fashioned after the likes of Robert De Niro and Ray Liotta. This setting includes your Goodfella wearing a suit, comes with a briefcase full of toys to make your clit happy, and an extra silk tie so your Goodfella can tie your hands and have his way with you. He’ll sound very “New Jersey Italian” and he’ll love eating pussy just as much as he loves his mother’s spaghetti.

2. The Dark Chocolate- When you want some cocoa cock! Fashioned after the likes of Morris Chestnut and only Taye Diggs, this model is tall, dark, and handsome. Dark Chocolate says all the right things, makes all the right moves, and is one the most visually pleasing models. The model, by default, comes with a bald head, but you can customize yours to have hair. With the eleven-inch cock and this model’s long-lasting ability, you probably won’t think too much about hair! This model gives massages and comes with massage oil, candles, and a his/hers silk robe set.

3. The Funny Guy- Fashioned after the likes of Louis C.K and Larry David, you are sure to laugh and have a good time. This model will probably charm the pants off of you. Although you might not expect it, these models “undersell and overdeliver”. Definitely worth giving a chance. This models comes with a few bottles of water, bags of trail mix with even amounts of cashews and raisins, and hand sanitizer.

If you’re a sex toy developer and use my ideas, make sure to cut my check. Don’t forget about the little people, mmkay?

Wet Dreams: Alyssa Milano

I wasn’t familiar with Alyssa Milano until she played Reese Witherspoon’s best friend in Fear. Mark Wahlberg was the crazy boyfriend who couldn’t get enough of Reese but who cared about Reese when you have hot looking Alyssa Milano nearby? Her dark hair and sneaky little smile drives me nuts. Masturbation material, yeah?

I bought the dvd a while back just to see her in a bikini whenever I wanted. Let’s not forget that part where that big dude grabbed her ass when he flung her over his shoulder. That was legit my favorite part of the movie. Her ass looked so soft and smooth, I just wanted to bite it.

If The Crazies Weren’t Out There…

I would post pictures of my nipples, so that when I discuss my adventures with breastfeeding, readers could look and visually reference whatever I might mention.

I would post a picture of my clit, that way if I mention it at any point, you could look at it and go “oh, that’s what you mean!”

I would take a picture of my house, that way you could see what I’m talking about if I were to mention something regarding it.

I would show a picture of myself so you can see the horndog behind a computer.

I would show a picture of Blanco because he’s fucking handsome and I want to put my man on display.

I would show a picture of my baby because goddammit, he’s the cutest baby that could ever exist. Like ever. Don’t argue with me. (Typical words a parent lol)

But due to the fact that I have to retain some sense of privacy I don’t post these things. It bothers me because I want to be completely open book but when safety comes into play, I can’t quite mess with that.