Hell Yeah, I Want a Customized Sex Toy

I hope that sex toys advance greatly in the very near future. Although I’m sure I would enjoy a sex toy when I’m 70 years old, I want to enjoy it right now!

I want toys that’ll give me a full body experience.

Although I don’t want a robot or anything cold and mechanical, I somehow want developers to come up with some device that will have unique settings. So imagine a sort of human-like toy that walks, talks, and fucks like a person. Here are a few suggestions for the settings I want:

1. The Goodfella- When you want some Italian dick! Fashioned after the likes of Robert De Niro and Ray Liotta. This setting includes your Goodfella wearing a suit, comes with a briefcase full of toys to make your clit happy, and an extra silk tie so your Goodfella can tie your hands and have his way with you. He’ll sound very “New Jersey Italian” and he’ll love eating pussy just as much as he loves his mother’s spaghetti.

2. The Dark Chocolate- When you want some cocoa cock! Fashioned after the likes of Morris Chestnut and only Taye Diggs, this model is tall, dark, and handsome. Dark Chocolate says all the right things, makes all the right moves, and is one the most visually pleasing models. The model, by default, comes with a bald head, but you can customize yours to have hair. With the eleven-inch cock and this model’s long-lasting ability, you probably won’t think too much about hair! This model gives massages and comes with massage oil, candles, and a his/hers silk robe set.

3. The Funny Guy- Fashioned after the likes of Louis C.K and Larry David, you are sure to laugh and have a good time. This model will probably charm the pants off of you. Although you might not expect it, these models “undersell and overdeliver”. Definitely worth giving a chance. This models comes with a few bottles of water, bags of trail mix with even amounts of cashews and raisins, and hand sanitizer.

If you’re a sex toy developer and use my ideas, make sure to cut my check. Don’t forget about the little people, mmkay?


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