How soon can you fart in a relationship?

DOUBLE STANDARD TIME!

When should you stop holding your farts in? When do you stop acting like your bowels don’t exist (or function)?

For men, it isn’t seen as such a horrible thing if you let one rip. Yeah, you might stink for a little but it isn’t seen as something that tarnishes a male’s reputation. Some men can clear rooms with their farts but somehow farting in front of a woman isn’t as bad as when a women first farts in front of a man.

I’ve had male friends are completely repulsed by the reality of women having the same bodily functions as them. Being insanely aggravated that your girl farted during dinner is one thing, but can she ever comfortably fart around you? I think that it is important to be able to fart in front of your significant other because what if you’re doing yoga together and you get a little too relaxed? What if she unknowingly ate something with dairy and it causes all sorts of gastronomic distress due to her lactose intolerance? What if she just doesn’t feel like squeezing her ass together until she leaves your house the next morning?

Some men accept that us womenfolk fart BUT expect women to produce little, cutesy farts that squeak out and don’t interfere with anyone’s ability to breathe. Does ANYONE want to smell horrendous farts? No!  But damn, that’s a lot of pressure. Don’t you know that we can blow down houses, knock over statues, kill elephants AND people with our farts? Trust me, we don’t want to hold these suckers in longer than we have to.

One of my favorite comedy specials of all time is You So Crazy. I’ll never forget Martin Lawrence saying how he felt like a woman didn’t love him unless she farted in front of him. why can’t they all be like you, Marty Mar?

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5 thoughts on “How soon can you fart in a relationship?

  1. Hmm perhaps. People tend to behave a little bit more formally and stiffly during the first few dates when there are certain expectations in their minds, or when they have been wanting that date for a long time. We had nothing of that in mind, we were just enjoying ourselves and each other’s company, so perhaps the levity of the moment – that we actually did not mean anything by it, helped too. I remember I was very plain at the time, I was still hurting from a past relationship and did not want another one, just some fun. That changed after a month or so, but at the time I did not care about ‘behaving correctly’ in front of him or of him doing the same in front of me.

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  2. Lol my bf actually told me that once, but I guess he was just saying it because I was complaining about his own farts and burps (which believe me are VERY frequent) lol but what can you do? At the beginning of the relationship, we were dating but I did not want commitment, so we were quite natural about such things – I even used to joke about his burps and count the number of times he burped each time we met. By the time we were actually a couple, it was nothing special. I dont really remember the first time I farted in front of him, but his reaction is always the same – he just laughs and compliments me jokingly.

    I understand this is not ‘normal’ accepted behavior in a couple, but bodily functions are natural and they are there, so why pretend they dont exist?

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    • I find it cool that you guys were so comfortable right off. Do you think there would have been a different outcome if you were interested in being in a committed relationship at the beginning?

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