4am thoughts

Do you ever watch tv and want to turn it off after a few minutes?

Like, “I should work out”

“I should go to the gym”

“I wish I could afford to go to the gym”

“Why do I suck so much?”

It is at these times I usually do the opposite of what I probably should do. What usually helps me is turning upbeat music on and pushing all the crappy thoughts to the side BUT at 4am I’m not trying to be rational, I’m trying to hate everybody! So I turn on something rather melancholy, like Jeff Buckley and wallow in the shit I tell myself I am.

I start cussing out cartoons and children’s games because they all teach this dumbass theme that everyone is going to like you and be nice to you. They don’t teach that sometimes you won’t even be nice to yourself!

Yep. Back to Buckley…


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